Prophesy and Prayer

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns -- January 25, 2008:Even though it seems like you've been swimming upstream or perhaps walking through Jell-O, keep pushing. Your extreme efforts to break through will pay off. The test is whether or not you will give up in the face of adversity. You have heard the adage, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." And, I say to you that you may not feel tough or equal to the task, but you must remember that My strength is made perfect in your weakness. Let Me come along side you to carry the burden, says the Lord. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Marlena: I'm struggling with exhaution and body aches today. Yet I fed the animals, cleaned the fish bowl, changed the bedding in the guinea pig cage, changed my baby's diaper, read the introduction to 1 Kings in the Bible, made breakfast for Olivia, and got Ashley started on trying to decipher her new schooling program, took my meds and vitamins, read stories and played in a bowl of rice with Olivia because she wanted me to take her to play in the sand at the park. It's 5 degrees out. I didn't go walking, didn't clean house, didn't organize anything or get rid of anything. Mike wants me and the kids to be ready to go to Morgantown for the weekend by 5pm. I feel like I just can't do it....the packing, and cleaning out the van, disappointing him and myself once again.

My counselor acts like this is all just about me 'learning' to do better. I agree that I have a lot to learn that will be very beneficial in being able to cope better, and to have a better perspective that won't add to my problems. I'm not as convinced as she is though that all my physical problems are just a result of feeling ashamed of myself. I think the physical issues led to the feelings of shame and the shame compounds things. But when I'm thinking well, performing well, and not feeling ashamed, the physical issues still raise problems that bring my mind and body to a halt.

As I'm reading through this Word of the Lord today I'm encouraged to keep striving, that it's not all in vain as I sometimes feel. It's been difficult for me to know when to push myself and when to take it easy. Others in my same health circumstance have shared with me how they pace themselves and that has been very helpful so I don't get so down on myself if it takes me a week to accomplish a task someone else might do in a day.

At the same time this encourages me to keep striving at a pace I'm able, I also feel encouraged to ask the Lord to walk along beside me. (oh how privilaged I feel to think He would even want to walk along side of me). For years I've been desiring to have someone walk along side of me...thinking if only someone would just walk through it with me, then maybe I could do it. My thoughts on God making the yoke lighter is that He will do all the planning and distribution of responsibilities as He sees fit, and my job becomes obeying Him, instead of feeling the responsibility of figuring it all out on my shoulders. If only I could hear Him clearly and wouldn't forget or stray before I follow through. I know this shouldn't be so difficult. Why is it so difficult? What is wrong? I feel so grieved that I'm not hearing God. I hear so many voices. My head is like a wirl wind of conflicting thoughts. I do hear my husband and he is saying that everything is going to be fine, don't worry about tomorrow...rest, relax, don't get upset, be grateful for what you are able to do at each moment, etc. I'm worried that the things I forget, or the responsibilities I neglect are going to come back to bite us all in the future, and it will all be my fault. I've been through some pretty tough circumstances that I've handled well because I knew I was not the cause. When I feel that I'm the cause, no matter how trivial the problem is, I just cannot cope.

I'm taking comfort in God saying He is gentle. I'm not really sure what lowly of heart means. But I know that gentle is the opposite of harsh. Harsh is how I've seeen God for a very long time. He is harsh in much of His Word, but here He is saying He is gentle.

Marlena's Prayer: Lord, please take my burdens and put your yoke upon me. You are so welcome to walk beside me and teach me. I want to learn from You. I want to find rest and peace. I want to know that whatever circumstances my family goes through that we will be able to hear you, do as you say, and we will be ok. I feel such a huge responsibility for so much...for everything everyone has ever told me that I'm responsible for, for everything I've ever read that I'm responsible for. But it's time for me to learn from you. Lord please tell me what I'm responsible for and help me to carry it out. I desire to be under your yoke, not the yoke others have put on me or that I've put on myself. I want a life that is do-able, one that is not in vain, one that brings you honor and glory. And Lord, please honor this prayer even if I forget it in an hour. Amen.